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East/West College Bowl 2012 Rankings
EAST ''' 16. TJ Juckson - Not strange at all, but kind of needed to set up the joke. 15. D'Marcus Williums - Per above. 14. Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace - Meh. This one kinda is popular, but I don't find it very great. Just kinda bland delivery, with a kinda bland name. 13. Ibrahim Moizoos - This actually isn't really that weird of a name? Well, sure, "Moizoos" is, but it should at least be switched with Tyroil Smoochie-Wallace. I like his voice, though. 12. D'Squarius Green, Jr. - Kinda forgettable. 11. T'variusness King - Indifferent, only this high because "T'variusness" is a fucking amazing name 10. Leoz Maxwell Jilliumz - Meh. I guess the "Leoz" part is kinda funny. 9. Davoin Shower-Handel - This one is pretty good. I also noticed he looks exactly like Ibrahim Moizoos, except with a beard. 8. L'Carpetron Dookmarriot - Pretty funny, but I forget it a lot of the time. I love how his voice is hushed, too. 7. D'Jasper Probincrux III - I like all of these, so this will be hard. Putting a D' on the extremely white name "Jasper" is funny for some reason. And his lisp, oh god, his lisp. 6. D'Isiah T. Billings-Clyde - The way he holds out the "Clyyyyde" kills me. 5. J'Dinkalage Morgoone - The thing he does with his lip, his voice, and "University of South Flurrda" kill me. 4. Javaris Jamar Javarison-Lamar - This one is usually the first to make me chuckle. The way he smiles, omg. 3. Jackmerius Tacktheritrix - He could probably be #1 just for going to MSU. Pretty much the first real weird name in the countdown. Plus, his hair. 2. Hingle McCringleberry - This could be the best one. Sounds like a fucking cereal mascot. And I love how pissed he seems. 1. Xmus Jaxon Flaxon Waxon - Yeah, this one has to be my favorite, it was the one that introduced me to the whole thing, and "California University of Pennsylvania" is great too. '''WEST 16. Saggitariutt Jefferspin - Pretty forgettable. "Saggitariutt" is a really, really weird name though that I have no idea how they came up with. 15. Scoish Velociraptor Maloish - This one is okay. He looks like Beezer. 14. Shakiraquan TGIF Carter - Never really thought it was that funny, but I just noticed how he had a twitch in his left eye throughout it. 13. Donkey Teeth - This one is nowhere near being a name which is kinda funny, but it's just kinda boring. I like how it's just so abrupt, though, after all the really weird/complicated names. 12. Beezer Twelve Washingbeard - I don't even know how they came up with "Washingbeard". Just reminds me of George Washington and nothing else. I like how bored he sounds, too. 11. D'Glester Hardunkichud - Gets this high just from the delivery. Thought it was pretty funny. 10. Swirvithan L. Goodling-Splatt - Super forgettable. So forgettable that I only remembered it now and am too lazy to place it lower. 9. Ozamataz Buckshank - "Ozamataz" sounds like a Muppet name. I also love how wide his eyes are and the pause between his first and last name. 8. TJ AJ RJ Backslashinfourth V - Just a really long name, that's about all there is to it. 7. Sequester Grundelplith MD - I'm sure he's not a doctor, and the "MD" was just added by his parents, which makes it even funnier. Also, the way he says "Aaaadam Staaate". 6. Quatro Quatro - He seems like he's extremely drugged up. Pretty funny. 5. X-Wing @Aliciousness - The @ symbol never really gets old. "Aliciousness" is such a hilarious name, too. If the twitter handle "@Aliciousness" wasn't taken, I'd take it and make my name X-Wing, for sure. 4. Dan Smith - This is just the cap to the joke. Amazing. Honestly wasn't even expecting it. 3. ⨗ Player Formerly Known As Mousecop - I didn't even know what to think when I first saw this. Anyway, what even is a mousecop. Is it a cop for mice? Is it a mouse that's a cop? Is it a cop that arrests mice? I don't even know. And his afro and facial hair, and his completely monotone voice. OMG. 2. EEEEE EEEEEEEEE - This totally made me die while first seeing it. HOW IS THAT NOISE HUMANLY POSSIBLE. And the way he talks in a COMPLETELY NORMAL VOICE after making that noise. And who the fuck would name their kid EEEEE when their last name was already EEEEEEEEEE. Maybe his family was a group of dolphins. 1. Torque Noise Lewith - Definitely the best name, possibly in the whole video. Torque is not a name, whatsoever. It's a unit of measurement or some science shit I never paid attention to. And the construction noise, oh my god, that's better than EEEEE. And where he goes to "school". What the fuck. The dramatic pause, and then finding out he lives in a state prison? Jesus Christ. Amazing.